When The Going Gets Rough

I took this photo on Tuesday morning. The caption was, "My avenues to success: top knot, bison necklace, and Belle and Sebastian." The day before this I had a very rough day. On Tuesday I woke up early, made myself breakfast, and spent some time in the Word before going to work because I was DETERMINED to have a great day. I was in such a good mood and I was ready to face the day. I had no idea the kind of day that was coming. I won't get into the details because that's not the point of this post. But I will say that it was just a REALLY bad day. And the rest of the week has followed suit.

This week has been the hardest week I've had all summer. And to be honest, it's really bringing me down. I'd like to say first that I am not one that airs my private matters all over the internet. Mostly because I don't want everyone knowing my problems and negative feelings. I try to not post tweets or statuses that are negative because that's not what I want to be known for. And also because I know you probably don't care anyway.

But that is not what this post is.

It is more of a wake up call for myself. And maybe for anyone out there who needs it.

This week, I have been defined by things that I am not by other people. This doesn't happen to me very often.  I am very aware of myself in general. I try very hard to be pretty genuine and honest about my strengths and weaknesses, and let me tell you, I am VERY aware of my weaknesses, and I can honestly tell you that the things I have been told that I am are not true. Everyone has dealt with this problem. And everyone knows how hard it is. I've taken it particularly rough this week and it has affected the way I deal with almost everything. I feel very sensitive. I feel very angry. I feel very sad.

I do not want to let this rough time define me. Because I know it does not. There is a reason for this, and it will only make me stronger. I must choose to learn from this, even though it seems almost impossible. But I know that God is with me. He has been very near to me throughout this week, whispering in my ear and guiding my every action. He has calmed my fears. He has slowed my anger. He has redefined me. Because after all, He really is the only opinion that matters in the end.

This week could have been worse. It always can be worse. But it was bad. And it did hurt. But all I can do is fight my way through it with the Spirit on my side. He always sees me through.

Hope all is well with you.

And if it's not, I hope you know that He will sustain you.

Avery