I remember growing up always thinking that I was an extrovert because I loved people with an extraordinary passion and I had lots of friends who I liked to be with. But as I got older, I realized that, though those things were still true, it didn't necessarily mean I was an extrovert. My whole life I have needed to be alone from time to time. I think everyone does. One day, I learned that the difference between an extrovert and an introvert isn't whether or not they like to be with people, it's where they get their energy from. Some people get their energy from other people. Those people are extroverts. And others get their energy from within themselves. Those people are introverts. I am one of those people.
But with all of that said, I have realized that I don't really ever go out to public places alone. No, I'm not one of those girls who has to go in pairs to the bathroom, and I don't feel weird stopping at Target by myself after work, but I do like to be in public places with others. I don't go out to eat by myself. I would never go to a concert by myself. If I can get a friend to join me when I go out, then that's what I do. I guess I thought everyone was like that. But a few months ago, while talking to a friend at school, I realized that it's normal for people to go out to eat by themselves and that sort of thing. That friend told me that I should try it sometime, just to see what it's like and so that I can overcome that fear. I thought she was crazy.
But these past few weeks I have been learning and experiencing a whole new side to being alone. Two weeks ago, my best friend and I were going to start a yoga class together. When the day rolled around, she wasn't feeling well and decided yoga wouldn't be a good idea that day. I was already ready to go, so *gasp* I went by myself. And it was one of the most rewarding things I've done. Yes, I felt awkward and like everyone was staring at me, but I got over it. And when I was leaving, I felt so good! The next week, my friend was out of town so I went alone AGAIN! Crazy, I know. Also, two Sundays ago I was going to try out a new church and meet a friend there. That morning she told me that she couldn't meet with me because she had to help someone at the church. I could have just stayed home. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but I decided to go anyway. It was a little weird picking a seat and sitting between two total strangers, but it was really amazing in the end. I got to worship on my own and really focus on God with no distractions. I've also been to the mall by myself recently which I think was a first.
What I'm telling you may sound normal, but it's really a big deal for me. I don't do these kinds of things. And though I still haven't gone out to eat by myself, I feel like I have overcome a part of myself. I got a lot out of those things. And I'm realizing more and more that some of my favorite times are when I'm in my room, by myself, listening to my favorite music, and art journaling of reading. It does something for the soul.
So, I don't know if you empathize with this post, but I do want to challenge you, no matter what kind of person you are, to step out of your comfort zone and do something that you would probably never do willingly. It really does stretch you as a person. I promise.
Also, I really do love people. A whole lot and I have to spend time with the people I love to feel like the world is right. But, I think quality time alone is important too.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. If you read this whole post, props to you. Because I probably wouldn't have.
Go challenge yourself!
xoxo
Aves
