Back To Basics: What Am I Doing With My Life?

Over the Christmas break, I have had lots of time to think about my life and where it is going. Being a senior in college is maybe the scariest and most confusing time of my life. I know that I’m not the first one to feel this way. And I have many friends surrounding me who would shout a very loud and exuberant, “Amen!” to that. But I feel it necessary to take the time to sift through my thoughts and truly get to the bottom of who I am and where I’m supposed to be. So, that’s what this is.

I don’t know if you ever do this, but sometimes I will think to myself I wonder what my past self thinks of my present self. It sounds silly, but it gets you thinking. I was an extremely ambitious and passionate young girl. When I felt strongly about something, I grabbed onto it and I didn’t let go. Though I was never very loud about my opinions or confrontational, people knew where I stood on things and knew what I cared most about. When I was 12 years old, I felt God calling me to be a missionary. I remember being so confident in that calling and telling everyone I knew about it. I didn’t know what that meant for me yet. All I knew is I wanted to help people and point them to Christ. And for years I held onto that calling.

I went to college and became a double major in Anthropology and Theatre. I wanted to learn everything I could about the human experience. I wanted to study it and I wanted to experience it myself through acting. But of course, as many people experience, my passion for my calling got a little lost while I was so focused on school.

So, here I am today, about to start my last semester in college and I’m having to reassess what I am supposed to be doing. In the end, I figured out that I needed to go back to the basics.

All my life I have known that I was made to help people. Unfortunately, I was not given the gifts to be a doctor or a nurse or even a lawyer. So, I have been searching most of my life for the way that I am supposed to help people and lead them to Christ. With my degree in Anthropology, I have learned how to understand and respect the cultures and lives of others. I have studied the minds of people who are very unlike me. I have become attached to them and mourned their injustices. I have celebrated the beauty of their worlds and their ways of doing life. And I have longed to be a part of their world someday. With my degree in Theatre, I have been given many opportunities to mentally and emotionally delve into the psyches of people from different lifestyles than my own with different experiences. I have felt their pain and their triumph. I have lived life in their shoes. And because of that, I am more experienced in my own life. Both of my degrees have equipped me to help and love people better. And that’s what I’m called to do.

Practically, I want to better the lives of others. I can love them and I can want to help them, but in the end, if I don’t give them tangible solutions to their current problems, than I am not loving them well at all. So, the first step I want to take is to become certified to teach English internationally. By having this experience and training, I will be able to travel the world and do life with people different than myself. I will be able to see their trials and struggles and I will become involved and responsible to help them. I will get to experience and learn other languages, which will equip me to better communicate with the people I am helping. I don’t know where all this training will take me, but I do know that I am on my way to becoming a human rights and social justice advocate. I am on my way to meeting the needs of others from the ground up.

After that chapter of my life ends, I have ideas of what I would like to do next, but in the end, I don’t want to make decisions about the future because they can always change. God has a plan and I want my decisions to always match up with that plan.

The basics are this: I love people. I have been given the gift of empathy and understanding with others. I have a passion for human rights and social justice. I have a longing to experience cultures and societies that are different than my own. And I want to help put a stop to the world’s injustices because that is what I am called to do. I still have that calling in my life like I did a decade ago, but it has morphed into something I could have never have fathomed. It has grown feet and hands and it has a desire to meet the earthly and spiritual needs of others.

And now, when I think about whether or not my past self would be proud of my present self, I can honestly say that I think I would be proud. Because I have only become more passionate and more proactive about what I’m supposed to do with my time on this earth. I am no longer just a dreamer. I’m a doer.

God is good. And I’m not 100% sure where He is leading me, but I trust Him. And I am choosing to take one step at a time. When I hear Him tell me the next thing to do, I will commit myself to that thing and leave the future up to Him. There is no reason to worry about where I will be in a year, five years, ten years, etc. because I really have no say in that anymore. He calls the shots and that’s the only way I want it to be.

Though being a senior and readying myself to leave this chapter in life is scary, I am so excited. I’m excited for where life is going. I’m excited for where God is leading me.

So, if you’re also afraid and confused as to where you’re supposed to go and who you’re supposed to be, just go back to the basics. Go back to the passions that drive you in life. Go back to Jesus and He will show you what to do.

Avery

Makers Gonna Make (Goals That Is)

It’s starting, you guys.

A new school year.

And in the life of Avery, new school years bring upon new goals. It’s one of the only things about me that is really constant. I’m a goal maker.

I like to blog about my goals because it helps me to really think on them as I type them out. And it also helps me stay accountable. Sort of.

So here we go!

1. Be Good To My Body

I want to make a real effort in taking care of my body. I want to work out more consistently, eat healthier, take better care of my skin, teeth and hair. Just all the way through I want to make changes and be more cautious about what I take in. It’s really important and if I don’t start now, I probably never will.

2. Have A Morning Routine

I’m not really a morning person. But I really want to be. And I think the first step is to get into a routine. Coffee, breakfast, quiet time, working out, etc. It’ll take some practice, but I think it’s possible. Or at least I hope so.

3. Stress About The Important Stuff

Stressing isn’t good. But I do it. Just like everyone else. And this year will be more stressful than most. But I am determined to stress less. It’s about knowing what the most important things are in life and only striving for those things. That’s my plan. I know that I will stress about important and unimportant things alike, but I hope to reduce that stress by a lot. Everything will work out in due time and I don’t want to take things into my own hands.

4. Invest In My Relationships

This is always a goal of mine, but it has become more of a priority now that I’m facing a huge change in my life soon. I want to only grow closer to the people who have been with me for years and to the ones who have faced the college experience with me. These people are important. And they should know that.

5. Be The Person I Want To Be Now

Sometimes you look back on your time and they way you spent and you realize that you’re not sure what you’ve done to be the person you’ve always wanted to be. I don’t want to finish school and feel that way. I want to look back and know that I made strides in the direction I need to go in. I don’t want to compromise my dreams or desires. And I want God to dictate those dreams and desires.

There they are. It’s going to be a crazy, beautiful year. I think I’m ready.

Avery

Simplest Love

Goodness, you guys! I just love these photos that my sister took of me and my boyfriend Ethan. She is really growing in her talent. And of course, it was just fun to be all lovey dovey in front of a camera. It always feels weird, but it's fun too. It's fun to see the results. I'm so happy I have moments like this captured. I will be so glad someday that we took these photos.

Thanks sis!

Also, you guys should go like my sister's photography page.

Adison Shae Photography.

Thanks for wading through all this mushy gushy love!

Avery

What To Do When Everyone Else Is Getting Married

I would like to preface this post by telling you all that I am writing this more to myself than to anyone else. But I had a hunch that there are others out there who need this too. If so, I hope this helps...

It’s that time. I was told it would come. That time when it seems like there are more people your age that are engaged or married than there are single people. It comes out of nowhere and kind of slaps you in the face. And all of the sudden, you feel like the only person not getting married. You feel alone. And let’s be honest, as happy as you are for all of your friends, amidst their newfound happiness, you can’t help but think of yourself and it kind of makes you want to pull all of your hair out.

Yeah, I understand. Trust me.

There could be lots of different reasons as to why you’re not getting married: you are single, you’re not ready for it, it scares you, or maybe you just don’t want anything to do with marriage. We all vary on the spectrum. But no matter where you are, if you aren’t about to get married, there are some things you’ve got to remember.

1. Everyone Is Different

Just because it seems like everyone else is getting married DOES NOT mean you have to. I know that seems like a given, but it’s really true. Don’t feel pressured to make a life changing and extremely important decision just because it feels like you have to. If you’re in a relationship, go at your own pace. If you’re single, don’t rush out and start dating the first person you meet. It’s not worth it. Take your time. If you feel that marriage is the next step for you, then do it. If you’re not comfortable with that, don’t do it. I’m making this sound a lot easier than it is. But this is so important! Everyone is different. Don’t try to live someone else’s life.

2. Be happy For Your Friends

     This can be easier said than done too. “They’re way too young!” “What are they thinking?” “They’re never going to spend time with me anymore!” “What about me?” I may or may not be guilty of thinking one or all of these things, but I will be the first to say that I am very wrong for doing so. Marriage is such a beautiful thing. If you’re friends are blessed enough to get to start that journey, then you should be nothing but excited for them. Whether they say it or not, they need your support. And maybe someday you’ll need their support when you’re on the road to say, “I do”. Love them and help them in any way you can. And remember that this decision in their life really has nothing to do with you. Your friendship will only grow stronger as you support them. Don’t jeopardize that by being jealous.

     3. You're Not Going To Die Alone

     This has kind of become a joke in our generation. “Forever alone.” You know what I’m talking about. It’s pretty funny, I’ll admit. But if you get down to it, it’s kind of selfish. You’re saying that you’re going to die alone just because you’re not romantically involved with someone. This is absolutely not true. You have family. You have friends. You have so many people who love and care about you. Having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is not the antidote to loneliness.  

4. Cultivate The Relationships You Do Have

On a related note, don’t forget about all of the important relationships that are going on right now. Don’t forget about your best friend who has dealt with you for the past ten years. Don’t forget about your sisters and brothers who need you. Don’t forget about your roommates who are probably going through this too. And, in my case specifically, don’t forget about your boyfriend of almost three years and all the happiness you have. Don’t put pressure on the relationship you’re in. Have good conversations about the future of marriage, but also watch movies and talk about really good music and live for right now, together. Don’t waste the time you have today because it’s going to go by too fast. Focus on the relationships you have right now and work to make them the best they’ve ever been.

5. Marriage Isn’t Everything

“Ring by Spring” is really all I hear about because of the Baptist University I attend smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt. There really is too much stress put on the subject of getting married. What about your education? What about your future career path? What about your family and friends? What about doing the will of God in other parts of your life? Don’t get me wrong, marriage is extremely important and I really, really want to get married someday. But there is a lot more going on in the world. So, instead of stressing about that, immerse yourself in where you are right now: the community, the people, the places. And most importantly, focus on Jesus and you’re relationship with Him. I promise you that no other relationship is going to go very well if that relationship isn’t put first. Go back to the roots of His love for you. Remember how you fell in love with Him in the beginning. Ask Him to help you through this time. Talk to Him about your fears. This really is the most important thing you can do.

I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks when it comes to the subject of marriage. And I’m sure I will have a few more. But I can tell you that I always go back to these things I mentioned above and I find peace. I hope you do too. I really do.

Avery

Cue The Month Of Emotional Breakdowns

It's the first of August.

Cue the start of many, and I mean many, emotional breakdowns.

So many breakdowns that it deserves a blog post dedicated to them, made complete with ridiculous selfies. Oh, and sad tuna faces.

August 2013 is the beginning of the end for a very important part of my life. I am now a senior in college. I've been denying this fact all summer because frankly, I just don't want it to end...

These past three years, soon to be four, have been the absolute best of my life. Now, I am a firm believer that the phrase, "These are the best years of your life. It only gets worse from here" is completely and utterly false. I know that my life will only get better and better and I refuse to listen to anyone who tells me otherwise. But these years have been pretty incredible. And I'm just not ready for them to end yet.

This August will bring about many conflicting feelings for me. On the one hand, I'm super excited to get back to school, good ole Bison Hill. But on the other, I'm dreading how fast this year will go by. I'm also dreading the amount of stress it will put me under. I'm already saying prayers and readying myself for what's to come, because let me tell you, it's not going to be easy. With three plays, putting on a one woman show for my theatre capstone, being a leader in both of my departments, and making decisions I can't believe I'm old enough to make, I'm going to be in for a crazy year.

But it's the last one. I've already started to get ridiculously sentimental about it. I've been going through old pictures, thinking about how I felt coming in as a freshman, freaking out about how I won't get to read books and learn like I do ever again, freaking out about my future...And I've already teared up twice today. Once because two of my really good friends got engaged, and another time while writing this post. So, as you can see, I'm kind of all over the place. This is a rough time. I don't care what anyone else says about it (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It's hard being thrown into a completely new place and being forced to choose a life path, and make friends, and possibly find a future spouse. And then just as soon as you get adjusted to this major new change, you're ripped from it and forced into the real world. That is hard, my friends.

But you know what? It's going to be okay. Sure, this year will be an emotional roller coaster, but it's also going to be one of the best ever! There is so many things to be happy about and thankful for. I have gotten a wonderful education at a university that has changed my life. I have made amazing friendships with people I will cherish for the rest of my life. (You know who you are.) I've been educated, discipled, and befriended by my professors. I am experiencing my amazing life. And that's what I've got to focus on. God has got this. And I don't. And that's the way I want it to be. Because I'm a mess, as I've proven above, and I can't take control of anything that is going on. But He can. And He will.

I'm sure most of you reading this are dealing with many, if not most, of these feelings. I hope you've gained a bit of hope from reading this. I also hope you know that you're not alone. I'm feeling like this. And so is every other college junior and senior. Just smile and cherish the time you have in this chapter of life. We're all going to graduate and move to the next step and it will be great.

So, no worries....right?

Avery

A Remedy For A Case Of The Mondays

Today was such a Monday. Hard to wake up. Hard to get out of bed. Hard to get ready. Hard to leave the house in time to get to work. Hard to be at work.

It happens.

Honestly, I just wanted to be curled up in bed while I watch movies all day. Yessir.

The summer is winding down and I'm pretty okay with it because that means I get to go back to school and go back to my routine. But the end of summer always comes with the annoyance of monotony for me. It kind of wears on me.

But tonight I'm going to get to work on some things for this next semester. And while I do that I will be listening to a playlist I made for this summer. It's a pretty good one if I do say so myself. And I thought I'd share it with you all just in case you are also having a bad case of the Mondays or if you just love good music.

Enjoy!

Avery

Lessons Still Learning: Coffee Shop Knowledge Part II

In my last post, I gave you a broad overview of the things I have learned while working in customer service. In this post, I would like to be a little more specific. I want to talk about two different categories: The Better Server and The Better Customer.

The Better Server

The past two summers I have collected mental notes about how to deal with customers. Much of this was trial and error, if I’m honest. But these are just a few of my tried and true methods of loving customers better:

Remember Names

This is the simplest of the techniques. The coffee shop I work in is located inside of a metroplex that holds different businesses. This is where we get most of our customers. Because most of our customers work in our building, almost all of them come in multiple times a week if not every day. I learned some of their names right off the bat and they just stuck with me for some reason. Some of them took me a little longer to remember. And, sadly, there are still a few that I don’t know or remember. But I try my hardest to remember the names of the ones who come in the most.

The reactions I get when I call someone by name are awesome. Some are weirded out because they’re not sure how I know their name. Others are surprised that I have such a good memory (which I don’t). And even some have tipped me just for remembering their name. They were that impressed.  It makes them feel good though. I can tell. They feel like they’re getting special treatment, and most of them are. It’s a simple gesture, but it really does make all the difference for people.

Smile

I know it sounds stupid, but the happier you are, the nicer the customers are going to be to you. When they see that you are smiling and making jokes, they’re more apt to do the same instead of yell at you for getting their order wrong.

And let’s just be honest, when someone smiles at you, it’s really hard not to smile back.

Make Conversation

Get to know the people that you’re serving. Find out where they work, what they enjoy doing, how they’re feeling that day. If there’s one major thing I’ve learned while working at a coffee shop it’s that baristas are underpaid therapists. For some reason everyone feels like they can vent to me. It’s a very strange phenomenon, really. But you know, maybe I am the only one they feel like they can vent to. If that’s so, then I’m okay with it.

There is a fine line between making conversation and being obnoxious. You have to tread that line very carefully. Don’t pry. Don’t talk too much. In fact, let them do most of the talking. Be a good listener. People appreciate it, even if they don’t say so.

Compliments

If you notice something new, appealing, or attractive about a customer, tell them! Compliment their new haircut or their shirt that you like. Don’t be awkward about it. Just be genuine.

Lately, I’ve been trying to make an honest effort to give more compliments. I think way too much about myself and not enough about others. So, I’ve been trying to be more attentive to people. I don’t just give out compliments if I don’t mean them. I want them to be genuine. (I hate when people give compliments just because they feel awkward or because they feel like they have to or if there’s a lull in the conversation. And you can totally tell when people do this.) Just be genuine. That’s all I can say.

The Better Customer

I’ve also learned a lot about how to be a better customer. Here are some things I’ve learned and try to do more actively in my daily life as a customer:

Tip Well

This is something I have never been good about until now. It’s really hard to shell out extra cash for what feels like nothing. But, let me tell you, it’s not nothing.

Tipping is really important. Especially if someone does a really good job. Let them know. If you can write something on the receipt, do that too! It really changes someone’s whole day to be told they’re great.

If everyone just tipped a dollar everywhere they went, can you imagine what a difference that would make?

Be Understanding

Baristas, waiters, cashiers, cooks, employees everywhere are just people. They make mistakes. Lots of them. Just like you do. If the person that helps you makes a mistake, just let them know nicely and be patient. It’s a lot harder said than done, but it’s really not helpful to give people an attitude. If it takes a little longer to get your order, there are other people waiting on orders too. If they forgot the cheese on your cheeseburger, they’ve probably got more important things on their mind. In the end, it’s going to be okay, so just chill.

Constructive Criticism

On a very similar note, when someone does make a mistake, you should let them know. It’s not helpful to let things go. But it’s also not helpful to tell someone that they made a mistake in a rude tone. Just be nice. They’ll fix it. They’ll work harder to not let that happen again. And you’ll be happier for saying something. Customer feedback is very important to businesses. Both the bad and the good kind. So give both.

Also, you can incorporate tips from The Better Server too! Like remembering your server’s name, smiling, and making conversation. All of those things are important too.

All of these thing have helped me while working and being a customer, but they are also helpful tips for dealing with people in general. If everyone used these simple tips in their daily life, man, there would be a lot of change a’happenin’.

Show some love.

Avery