It's the first of August.
Cue the start of many, and I mean many, emotional breakdowns.
So many breakdowns that it deserves a blog post dedicated to them, made complete with ridiculous selfies. Oh, and sad tuna faces.
August 2013 is the beginning of the end for a very important part of my life. I am now a senior in college. I've been denying this fact all summer because frankly, I just don't want it to end...
These past three years, soon to be four, have been the absolute best of my life. Now, I am a firm believer that the phrase, "These are the best years of your life. It only gets worse from here" is completely and utterly false. I know that my life will only get better and better and I refuse to listen to anyone who tells me otherwise. But these years have been pretty incredible. And I'm just not ready for them to end yet.
This August will bring about many conflicting feelings for me. On the one hand, I'm super excited to get back to school, good ole Bison Hill. But on the other, I'm dreading how fast this year will go by. I'm also dreading the amount of stress it will put me under. I'm already saying prayers and readying myself for what's to come, because let me tell you, it's not going to be easy. With three plays, putting on a one woman show for my theatre capstone, being a leader in both of my departments, and making decisions I can't believe I'm old enough to make, I'm going to be in for a crazy year.
But it's the last one. I've already started to get ridiculously sentimental about it. I've been going through old pictures, thinking about how I felt coming in as a freshman, freaking out about how I won't get to read books and learn like I do ever again, freaking out about my future...And I've already teared up twice today. Once because two of my really good friends got engaged, and another time while writing this post. So, as you can see, I'm kind of all over the place. This is a rough time. I don't care what anyone else says about it (I mean that in the nicest way possible). It's hard being thrown into a completely new place and being forced to choose a life path, and make friends, and possibly find a future spouse. And then just as soon as you get adjusted to this major new change, you're ripped from it and forced into the real world. That is hard, my friends.
But you know what? It's going to be okay. Sure, this year will be an emotional roller coaster, but it's also going to be one of the best ever! There is so many things to be happy about and thankful for. I have gotten a wonderful education at a university that has changed my life. I have made amazing friendships with people I will cherish for the rest of my life. (You know who you are.) I've been educated, discipled, and befriended by my professors. I am experiencing my amazing life. And that's what I've got to focus on. God has got this. And I don't. And that's the way I want it to be. Because I'm a mess, as I've proven above, and I can't take control of anything that is going on. But He can. And He will.
I'm sure most of you reading this are dealing with many, if not most, of these feelings. I hope you've gained a bit of hope from reading this. I also hope you know that you're not alone. I'm feeling like this. And so is every other college junior and senior. Just smile and cherish the time you have in this chapter of life. We're all going to graduate and move to the next step and it will be great.
So, no worries....right?
Avery
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